There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
