seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
