I think I won the penis lottery.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
