i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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