I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
thus making me awesome and them whores
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
