Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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