The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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