i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
