The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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