I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
cat food counts as protein by the way
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Randomize
