who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
