well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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