Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize