We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
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You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
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I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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