Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
