Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
we made out on top of his cat.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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