We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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