Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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