and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i am craving dick and cupcakes
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
