i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
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He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
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Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I love you.
Bad choice
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