WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?