Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...