Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.