Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You're breaking my sexual little heart