Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it

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  (707): that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it http://tfl.nu/zuoy
  Replies (18) Good night (4650) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.

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  (479): He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing. http://tfl.nu/ga3r
  Replies (7) Good night (3940) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy

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  (602): I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy http://tfl.nu/rk38
  Replies (16) Good night (6410) Bad night (1005) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.

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  (661): It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job. http://tfl.nu/htiz
  Replies (32) Good night (5144) Bad night (1214) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"

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  (908): I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!" http://tfl.nu/rdw8
  Replies (9) Good night (1240) Bad night (2889) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.

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  (315): He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any. http://tfl.nu/g0ay
  Replies (5) Good night (491) Bad night (2170) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball

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  (412): just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball http://tfl.nu/dojj
  Replies (9) Good night (740) Bad night (1333) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes

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  (203): Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes http://tfl.nu/04zg
  Replies (10) Good night (1076) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.

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  (+44): I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs. http://tfl.nu/qoq8
  Replies (7) Good night (2391) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard

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  (971): Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard http://tfl.nu/g5bb
  Replies (1) Good night (1075) Bad night (471) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends

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  (919): Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends http://tfl.nu/02aa
  Replies (3) Good night (1026) Bad night (364)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.

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  (508): Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos. http://tfl.nu/qg1c
  Replies (7) Good night (1625) Bad night (435) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance

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  (207): when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance http://tfl.nu/dir9
  Replies (4) Good night (1425) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity

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  (240): Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity http://tfl.nu/y6wz
  Replies (4) Good night (960) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.

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  (706): I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose. http://tfl.nu/d385
  Replies (6) Good night (439) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt

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