Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?