I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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