I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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