Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Sex on roller skates
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!