Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
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he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
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I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"