i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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