My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
