if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
