we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
