dude i'm inner monologue high
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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