I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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