I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
