Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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