remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize