Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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