somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
