Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
