Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
