All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just want to make out with him forever
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
