dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
