When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
are you so shy because you have an std?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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