party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize