You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
