...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
