I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
