3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
