i barfeds in our rink
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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