the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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