end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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