also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
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I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
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what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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