I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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