Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
