the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
