booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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