I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
