did you get engaged???
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
