A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
