took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I am naked and annoyed.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
