They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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